NICE GUYS FINISH LAST

Welcome to NEWS.com.au. Skip to: Search Box Section Navigation Network Navigation Content View the Sitemap
NEWS.com.au Business - Home

* News
o Breaking News
o National
o World
o In-depth Features
o The Other Side
o Weather
o Interactives
o Galleries
o Games
o Tools
o Archives
* Business
* Money
o Banking
o Property
o Insurance
o Superannuation
o Investing
o Guides & Tools
o Blogs
o Interest Rates
* Entertainment
o Celebrity
o Movies
o TV
o Music
o Fashion & Beauty
o Horoscopes
o body+soul
o Puzzles
o Multimedia
* Travel
o Travel News
o Australia
o World
o Holiday Ideas
o Bookings & Offers
o Activities
o Travel Advice & Tools
o Multimedia
o Escape
* Technology
o Mobile Phones
o iPhone
o Computers
o Digital Cameras
o Home Entertainment
o Gaming
o Reviews
o Blogs
o IT Jobs
* Opinions
o Readers' Comments
o Daily Cartoons
o Most Popular
* Blogs
* Video
* Mobile
o Mobile/PDA
o Games, Tones & Wallpapers
o CARSguide.mobi
o 3
o Optus
o Vodafone
* AUSTRALIAN IT
* FOX SPORTS
o Beijing Olympics
* CLASSIFIEDS
o Local Business
o Jobs
o Cars
o Property
o Home Improvement
o Dating
o General Trader ads
o Personal ads
o Travel ads
o Announcements ads
o Place a classified newspaper ad
o Weekend Shopper
* NEWS NETWORK
o NEWS.com.au
o The Australian
o The Daily Telegraph
o The Courier-Mail
o Herald Sun
o AdelaideNow
o PerthNow
o The Mercury
o NT News
o Community Papers

* Breaking News
* Markets
* Property
* Business Owner
* Business Sense
* Forbes
* Galleries

Top Stories
Business Sense
In association with Vodafone

* Top stories
* Innovation
* Management
* Leaders
* Agenda
* Blog

Nice guys finish last

By Kate Spicer

April 10, 2008 08:14am
Article from: The Australian

Font size: + -

Send this article: Print Email

* Businessman hires coach to learn how to act mean
* His ruthless behaviour sees him succeed at work
* Vodafone Perspectives: More business advice

THEY'RE the colleague who came in as your junior and just keeps getting promoted, despite being a complete and utter idiot.

They're the highly caffeinated female boss who manages her team like a Serbian warlord, but thinks of herself as a really sweet person.

They're the overly confident, sports-car-driving guy who has had sex with all the women and mocks all the men.

In case you hadn't noticed, "assholes'', as Americans call them, are everywhere and, what's more, they're doing really well.

Ruined by niceness

The first line of Marty Kihns book, A$$hole: How I Got Rich and Happy by Not Giving a Shit About You, is: "I was the nicest guy in the world and it was killing me.''

NOTE: KIHN IS A WELL KNOWN AUTHOR.

Blogs Blog: Do nice guys finish last?
Related story Newsletter: Latest Business Sense to your inbox

His wife, colleagues, boss and neighbour, the staff in his local coffee shop, the people he bumped into in parks, even his dog and cat - everyone was taking the P, says Mr Kihn, who works for a marketing company.

The final straw came when his boss told him that, unless he started playing hardball, they were going to demote him to a less aggressive part of the organisation - the humiliatingly termed "soft track'' - and upgrade a colleague Mr Kihn calls The Nemesis to a window office.

Philosopher Jung says everyone has an opposite they want to be, a shadow self. In Mr Kihn's case, that opposite was an asshole. He decided to turn himself into one - and, in telling his story, he describes exactly how you can do it, too.

Turn that smile upside down

For all the humour in his mission, the truth is, it really worked. By finding the balls to act like an asshole, he crushes The Nemesis, gets a promotion, then nets a bundle of cash, and a second home into the bargain, by selling the book to Hollywood for a six-figure sum - all this despite clearly being a big pussycat.

"In corporate America,'' he says, "if you are ambitious, or if you just want to go for the big money, it
more than helps to be an asshole.''

Mr Kihn built a serious team - acting coach, life coach and both personal and dog trainer - to help master the art of assholism.

"You've got to try on a character for size,'' he says. "The acting coach had me dress up in a bear suit, stand on Broadway and have people stare at me to remove self-consciousness.''

This was just the start. He also stood in a mall, giving a dollar to anybody who would insult him, to try to stop caring what people thought.

He practised aggressive sports such as boxing. He repeated asshole mantras and affirmations: "Clear your mind of all nice, helpful, self-defeating thoughts and replace them with mean, selfish, ass-kicking patterns.''

Don't pray to God, pray to a higher power in you, wishing every ill, including bad haircuts, on all your adversaries. The use of eye contact is also important.

"If you stare at people hard enough, you can make them walk backwards,'' he says.

"I studied Al Pacino's body language in Scarface: no smiling, his eye contact is constant. He doesn't blink - Pacino's eyeballs must have felt like sandpaper.''

NOTE: PACINO IS A HOLLYWOOD ACTOR WHO PLAYS ' ASSHOLE' ROLES IN HIS MOVIES.

An asshole never listens to anybody. Tony Montana from Scarface, and The Nemesis from work, were his key role models.

"A true asshole is someone who lacks empathy and has clear goals,'' Mr Kihn says. "Someone who unthinkingly takes credit for another person's actions.''

He found inspiration everywhere he looked. He reels off some assholes: Donald Trump, former New York mayor Rudy Giuliani, Martha Stewart, David Letterman.

And Hollywood clearly is not short of assholes. "God, no,'' he says. "Nicole Kidman. I've been around her, observed her. I've never seen anybody with a more powerful sense of self.''

Experts agree

Chris Jackson, business psychology professor at the Australian School of Business, agreed being mean and ruthless at work sometimes had benefits, but warned they often didn't last.

"When you behave badly and negotiate hard and you treat people poorly, you're likely to get other people's resources," Mr Jackson said.

"So there's definitely a short-term benefit."

But when it comes to needing someone to do something for you, you're going to find it very difficult to persuade them, he said.

"You'll probably have to continue to be coercive, which only builds up more resistance and negativity and encourages people to leave.

"So instead of acquiring a network of colleagues who work together to solve problems, you acquire a network of people who are resistant to you and will try to bring you down."

Be a role model

Inspiring people through good leadership, acting as a role model or by encouraging them to have your goals and values will leave workers more motivated to achieve what you want them to achieve, Mr Jackson said.

"But I want to make it clear that assertiveness and authority aren't necessarily bad characteristics," he said.

"Just because you know what you're talking about and negotiating strongly doesn't make you an asshole."

Read full interview with Marty Kihns at The Australian.

- Additional reporting by staff writers
Share this article

* Digg this
* Post to del.icio.us
* Post to Newsvine
* Post to Facebook
* Add to kwoff
* RSS
* What is this?

Angry man / File
Think mean ... the only way to get ahead at work - and in life - is to be a bastard, according to a businessman.
Company Research
Enter ASX code or company name for the latest stock quotes and research Aegis
Today's Top Picks
Monday blues 'not real'

MONDAY morning blues are a figment of the imagination, research reveals, as we are just as happy on Monday as we are at the end of the week.

* Share brokers: ANZ pulls pin on deals
* Financial year: $200 billion down the drain
* Wizard: Struggling with the mortgage? Get out now

Font size: + -

Send this article: Print Email
Have Your Say
Latest Comments:

I have given up my hope of "what goes around comes around", the nasty behaviour of others probably will never be punished or given in kind to them. I used to believe in Kama, "You get what you give, ... eventually". I am tired of being nice, but I wont be a complete AHole, just consider myself before others .......
Posted by: Jim of null 2:06pm April 14, 2008

the draconian style of leadership achieves very little in the long term..a participating leader creates greater respect and encourages the best out of all....however you are correct the weaker softer approach does let everyone p.. on you..money power isnt everything in life..do unto others etc
Posted by: alan anderson 10:10am April 14, 2008

When I started working my parents said to me that I am there to work, not to be popular or liked, and to ignore all the intrigue/politics and arseholes that pervade the workplace. Respect others and let your work speak for itself, then all will be good. However there was one guy who kept calling for me like I was a dog, and treated me like one. Ppl kept going to me saying they wouldn't cop that if they were me. I went up to him saying I was offended but he shrugged it off. The next time he did it I put him on report, but he wasn't fazed. The third time was in the car park all alone as I was going home. He pushed me up against a wall and did what bullies do because he found out that I actually reported him. Too bad for him there was a security camera watching our every move in the car park! Let's just say he found out being an arsehole didn't pay after all!:D
Posted by: Oldie of Sydney 1:09am April 14, 2008

It doesn't work. Id tried being as asshole at work but it got me fired. So now Im just an Caring Understanding Nice Type.
Posted by: Converted Asshole 10:40am April 13, 2008

Read all 57 comments

We welcome your comments on this story. Comments are submitted for possible publication on the condition that they may be edited. Please provide your full name. We also require a working email address - not for publication, but for verification. The location field is optional. Read our publication guidelines.
Submit your feedback here:

Full name:
Email address:
Location (optional):
Your comments: (max 1200 characters)
Remember my details

(So you don't have to retype your details each time you send feedback.)
Email me if my comment is published

Search for more stories on this topic on Newstext, our news archive service. Click here

* Most Popular
* Business
* Blogs

More Most Popular

* 1. Woman 'brutally' killed fighting intruder
* 2. Woman ignored as she dies on hospital floor
* 3. Demelza wins Next Top Model
* 4. Pammy angry over Jessica's shirt
* 5. US Kath and Kim star blasts critics

* 6. Rudd pulls out whip for Neal
* 7. Swim star's ex protesting baby's name
* 8. Fake Facebook profile was laden with lies
* 9. Man, I feel like a woman, says 'she-man'
* 10. 'Give Heath Ledger an Oscar'

* 1. Australia now a nervous nation
* 2. What you can claim as tax breaks
* 3. Dust off records for a decent tax return
* 4. Westpac's takeover reality check
* 5. Stocks to watch in the new financial year

* 6. Mortgage battlers told to get out now
* 7. Household wealth up 50pc
* 8. Car industry backs cap on petrol
* 9. Qantas shares lift on float plan
* 10. Wall St pulls off positive finish

* 1. How do I forgive my abusive mum?
* 2. Rates remain the same
* 3. Don't annoy the Catholics
* 4. Good news for coffee drinkers
* 5. Downer and Newspoll

* 6. Modern sex Aussie women taking up the cyb...
* 7. Should sledging get personal?
* 8. Should I follow my heart and follow this ...
* 9. What is the problem with the fword?
* 10. Should my bloke lose his beer gut for our...

Also in Top Stories

* Survey: We're most entrepreneurial
* Communication: HR uses poetry to address staff
* Your say: Weirdest job interviews
* Reader comments: Aussie workers doing it tough
* Workplace: We're employed but unhappy
* Stress: Losing sleep over work
* Staff retention: Gen-Y in it for the money
* Westfield: HR clamps down on Cup fun

Video
Best bum competition Watch this Video NOW!
Best bum competition

NEWS.com.au finds out just what it takes to get the ultimate bottom.
Latest video

* Inside Supernatural
* Star Trek's Uhura on civil rights
* Freeze flash mob
* Jane McGrath farewelled

More Video
Tools

* Receive our news feed
What is RSS?
* Receive our email newsletter
* Send us your news photos
* Send us your story tips
* News on your mobile

NEWS.com.au Network
NEWS.com.au |
FOX SPORTS |
CLASSIFIEDS |
MOBILE
SEARCH FOR:
Site Local Web
enhanced by Google

previous pause next Network Highlights:

* What's for dinner? Search 12,000+ Australian recipes at Taste.com.au »

* Help|
* Contact Us|
* Advertise with Us|
* Job Opportunities|
* Terms & Conditions|
* Privacy Policy|
* Accessibility|
* Sitemap|
* Business Headlines from Our Partners

Copyright 2008 News Limited. All times AEST (GMT +10).